A Mormon Bishop’s Guidebook

TABLE OF CONTENTS

*If any of the links in the table of contents don’t work, you’ll need to scroll down. Sorry, I’m not a web developer  : )

Click the links below to jump to specific sections in the post.

• Who am I?
• First things first
• You should know – I almost quit

In the Beginning: What to do when you’re first called. 

• Live Worthily
• Find a mentor
• Follow the handbook
• The Lord called YOU
• Let your family know you love them
• Show respect for the previous leader

Establishing Best Practices:

• Picking your team
• First Order of Business – Who’s Responsible for What?
• When nothing else matters
• Office Hours – Like a professor at a university
• Use technology to your advantage
  • Use Google Calendar
  • Use Google Drive
• Sunday – Get to church early
• Take good notes
• Sacrament Meeting Best Practices
• Welfare
  • Let me explain how I handled welfare in my ward
  • Helping those struggling with pornography

Lessons Learned:

• Your Bishopric: Use all your strength
• Executive Secretary – How this man can keep you sane.
• My Executive Secretary conducted Bishopric and Ward Council.
• The Ward Council
• You don’t have to be the only one receiving revelation for the ward
• Weddings
• Funerals
• The Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood
• Interviews with youth
• Help for those who have morality issues:
• Part One: Reading Material
  Part Two: A path back

• Good Ideas: 

• Priesthood Ordinances / A Priesthood circle
• On correcting Priesthood brethren acting as voice
• Where to stand
• Callings Sheet – One document to rule every calling / release. Nothing will be missed.
• Priesthood authority line
• Candy Treasure Chest – Get to know your Primary children
• Bishopric Agenda – Here’s what we used for Bishopric
• Ward Council Agenda – Here’s what we used for PEC / Ward Council meetings
• When it’s time to move on

Who am I?

My name is Andy Chatham.  I’m a husband, father, brother, business owner, runner, loud music listener, mountain bike rider, and wake surfer.  I was 38 years old when I was called as a Bishop. 

First things first: 

While in the thick of things as a Bishop, I wrote this blog post (READ THIS FIRST).  Early in my calling I found myself wishing the church had a handbook, or guide, just for Bishop’s.  Yes, the church has handbooks, and Handbook 1 is for Stake Presidents and Bishop’s. However, this is designed for a broad worldwide church.  Designed to help a Bishop in Cape Town, South Africa as well as one in Anchorage, Alaska. I was looking for more down to earth, rubber meets the road guidance.  

I believe I could have been much more effective if I didn’t have to walk the ‘school of hard knocks’ that first year.  A little help would have gone a long way. I get it, you need to experience many things yourself. Just a little help though, up front, would have made me more effective and helped me be a better minister early in my service. 

I hope you’ll find some practical tips you can use today.  

As I compile these thoughts, I keep thinking about my friends that have served as Bishop more than once.  I can’t get the thought out of my head that I may end up sitting in that chair again. If anything, this has been a great exercise for me to put all these thoughts in one place – so I can easily find and share them. 

This isn’t approved by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

This is all my opinion.  I don’t speak for the church.  Any mistakes are all my responsibility. 

So, take what I say with a grain of salt.  I ran the ship as I felt I was inspired to – in Northern California.  I’m sure my experience was very different than that of a Bishop in New Zealand.  Please know that I’m speaking to other Bishop’s in North America. That group will find my insights most fitting.  If others, outside the US, can gain something from my words, great! Please don’t be frustrated if my opinions, strategies, thoughts and ideas simply don’t work in your neck of the woods.  You’ve got to find your own way – this tells you a little of the path I followed. 

I served as a Bishop for just over five years in Northern California, March 2009 – May 2014.  

Our congregation felt the full ramifications of the Great Recession.  As a business owner, I personally felt its effects. It brought me and my congregation to our knees in more ways than one.  

The church is incredibly strong in California.  Outside of Utah, California has more members than any other state, by almost double – LINK.  Because of this we had an average size ward, approximately 400 members the entire time I served.  Approximately 140 members attended Sacrament meeting every Sunday. I had a fully staffed Bishopric, Relief Society Presidency, Elders Quorum Presidency, High Priest Group Leadership, etc.  I had a fully staffed Ward Council the entire time I served. Don’t get me wrong, our ward struggled. We were smaller than the other ward that met in our building. But we were probably average for attendance, level of service, and level of engagement for the wards in the state of California. 

I had experience.  I’d been raised in the church, gone on a mission, served as an Elders Quorum President, served as a Young Men’s President, served as a councilor in the Bishopric for five years immediately prior to being called as Bishop. 

For the most part, my time served was very similar to other Bishops.  My time was also unique though. No two membership demographics, areas where served or stake leadership directives are the same.  Combine all of the above and your experience will be different than mine. I believe there are things we hold in common though, and I hope to cover a number of them here. 

You should also know – I almost quit.  

I’d been serving as a Bishop for about two years.  It was the summer of 2011, the Great Recession had clobbered my business, as it had much of the rest of the US and I’m sure the world.  I’m a wealth manager. The majority of my income is derived from the amount of investment assets I manage. Since the financial market dropped by 50% in 2008/2009, and most of my clients were invested in the markets, my income dropped by about the same amount.  Ouch.

My father, who’s also a wealth manager, but in Southern California, is 20 years my senior.  He had been thinking about his succession plan. In 2009 we began discussing the topic of merging our practices.  By 2011 we were in serious discussions and moving that direction. My wife and I consistently felt we needed to ‘take the next step’ in regards to the discussions with my father and the ultimate taking over of his practice.  It would mean moving my family of six to Southern California, moving my clients to another broker dealer and starting my business from scratch in a new area. In 2011 we took this decision to the temple and felt we were to ‘take the next step.’  Well, the next step was to move – so we started. At the next family home evening we told our kids. They cried. We told our extended family, and we told our ward. Everyone knew we were moving.  

I told the Stake President and he was surprised, but said they wouldn’t release me ‘until we see your tail lights go down over the horizon.’  This surprised me, I thought he’d release me right away. I was to stick it out until the end.    

The next weekend my wife and I flew back down to LA.  When we were picked up at the airport we knew something was different.  We sat down and went through the numbers again, and this time the deal had changed.  My wife and I looked at each other and knew it was over. There was no way we could move down to LA with these new terms.  It just wasn’t worth it.  

My father, a previous Bishop himself, said I’d never be able to stay a Bishop and keep my business afloat in Northern California.  The state of the economy, a young and growing family, and the time demanded of being a Bishop – it was simply too much. He recommended I call the Stake President immediately and ask for a release.  

My wife and I left LA and headed back to the airport.  We sat in a little restaurant and wondered what we were going to do.  I knew one thing – I wasn’t going to let my father be right. I would succeed, on all fronts.  At that point, probably more than ever, I knew I needed to be a Bishop and I needed to serve.  I couldn’t run away from serving, no matter how bad things were financially. ‘We need the blessings,’ is what my wife continued to say, and I agreed with her.  

I got back to Northern California and called the Stake President asking for an opportunity to see him ASAP.  When we sat down I told him we were staying, but that I needed to make some big changes, otherwise I would have to step down as Bishop.  He was 100% on board and willing to work with me.  

When the dust settled I made dramatic changes in the way I worked as Bishop, I had two new councilors and I was delegating much more to my Elders Quorum President and High Priest Group Leader.  

From that point on, I decided to have a more balanced life.   

My focus, mental energy and physical time would be spent this way: 

• 30% to my family – this had remained constant, thus my good relationship with my spouse and kids. 
• 10% to ‘me time’ – to ‘Sharpen the Saw.’  
• 35% to my business
• 25% to church / my calling

Before this change I was completely off balance.  I was giving 35-40% of my time, focus and energy to being Bishop, and things were starting to fall apart.  As a business owner, I needed to make some adjustments fast.  

After the change, I was only willing and able to give 20 hours a week to the calling. Obviously there was more mental energy spent on the calling, but in actual time, this was all I could do.  

This change in focus made all the difference.  I became more well rounded. In my personal opinion, I believe these priorities hold true:  

First priority should be our personal relationship to God. 

Second priority should be to ourselves.  Always making sure we are sharp, getting enough sleep, working out, having quality play time, etc.  If we aren’t ‘sharp’ we won’t be effective for anyone; ourselves, our family or the Lord. 

Third priority should be to our family, making sure our relationship with them is strong. 

Fourth priority is our job.  We need to provide for ourselves and our family. 

Fifth is our calling in the church.  

I believe these hold true and I’ve counseled many a person on making sure these priorities are kept straight in their lives.  There’s some give and take at times, but to be happy long term, there must be balance. 

That next year my business rebounded and I had one of my top earning years.  Since then my business has been incredibly strong and growing. Just what I’d been hoping, praying and working for.  

Make sure you find balance, and if you’re not there – change.   I had six councilors, three executive secretaries, 2 ward clerks, and 3 Relief Society Presidents during my five year term.  Don’t be afraid to bring in new blood and make changes.  It will all work out.

In the Beginning 

What actions to take at the start of your calling.

Live worthily: 

You are the head of the ward.  Every day you have the opportunity to help those in your congregation.  The only way the spirit can guide you is if you are living a life worthy to receive revelation and guidance.

I remember the first time I received an answer to prayer while I was jogging.  I’d been struggling over what topic to speak on at an upcoming Sacrament meeting.  I was jogging along, listening to a general conference talk on my iPod and all of a sudden the spirit prompted me with the answer.  Jogging! Who knew the Spirit could talk to you while jogging? 

There were numerous times when I was just laying down to sleep and I’d be thinking about the day.  Often I would have to get up because I’d remember something, or I’d need to write something important down.  I learned that quieting my mind, giving myself time to ponder was an important thing to do.  

It’s important you give the Spirit the opportunity to communicate with you.  You need to live worthy to receive inspiration, but you also need to provide an opportunity – daily – to receive promptings from the Spirit.  

I recommend you come up with a routine – actions you take every day that will help bring the Spirit into your life.  By the middle of my service I had this down. Here’s what I did every day: 

Roll out of bed onto my knees.  I started every day with prayer.  Now, I’m not a morning person, at all.  But I learned that if I didn’t start the day this way, there was a good chance I’d never get that first prayer in.  I often found that if I humbly asked the Lord for help, my day would go much better. 

Listen to a conference talk every day.  Most conference talks are only 8-10 minutes long.  Some are a little longer. The question was how to fit it into my schedule.  What worked for me was right when I got out of the shower. As soon as I got out, I grabbed my phone and hit play.  I had conference downloaded and I just listened to the next talk in line. As I was listening I dried off, shaved, did my hair and got dressed for the day.  All that takes about ten to 15 minutes, about the same amount of time to listen to a conference talk. Often I’d find that I was moved by something one of the brethren said in a talk. 

Read the scriptures.  I focused on reading at least one chapter a day in the Book of Mormon.  The best time for me was in the morning. As a family we also read two pages a day in the Book of Mormon immediately after dinner.  So, I’d get in 15 minutes or so of scripture time every day. Often I’d find that I was moved by something I read.  

Prayer with my family.  We prayed, every day, before everyone left for the day.  We prayed over our meals, but we also prayed together as a family before the first person went to bed.  My wife and I rotated who said the prayer in the morning, the kids all rotated at night. This gave us all an opportunity to hear and plead with the Lord about our personal and family hopes and goals.  Often I was moved by what was said by my family members. I hope they too were moved at times by what I said. 

Videos.  The church has put out some incredible videos.  They’ve spent a ton of money creating high quality stuff.  There are also many Mormon Messages videos on YouTube. I’ve often felt the spirit while watching these.  

Preparing myself with music.  I live almost exactly five minutes from our church building.  I found that my meetings went much better if I was in the proper frame of mind when I arrived at the building.  So, I started preparing myself by listening to specific music on my drive to the church. Most of the time I listened to this specific song.  There’s just something about it that helps me think about the Savior, and the importance of my job as Bishop.  I was often moved by listening to music, it greatly helped prepare me for the conversations I was about to have with my members.  

I can’t tell you I had a spiritual experience every time I prayed, nor did a conference talk break through to me every day.  The trick is the combination of all of these things. If I was filling my life with these types of things, and taking time to listen and ponder each day – the spirit was bound to get through. 

Find a mentor: 

Since there is no official Bishop’s handbook, find someone you can talk to.  My recommendation: Your Stake President, other Bishop’s in the stake, or other men you are close to who have been Bishop’s before. These men will get it. You can ask them for advice when a challenge arises that you don’t know how to solve. 

My first year I had four. They were my sounding board when I was stumped. At the end of the year I gave each of them a gift thanking them for all they had done for me. Remember those who help you along the way.

[UPDATE: March 5, 2016]

Recommended Reading:

It’s been two years now since I’ve been released.  I’ve had some time to ponder the position, and now watch other men at the task.  While I was serving as a Bishop the movie Les Miserables came out. A close friend mentioned that the book was incredibly deep, and gave great insights into life.  “But the book is very long, and very few people read it.” Once the movie came out I recalled his words and decided to listen to the audiobook. It’s quite long, over 40 hours, but I commute quite a bit, exercise every day and work in the yard – lots of time to listen to good things.  

I was incredibly moved by the first part of the book.  This first part is taken up by describing the Bishop who interacts with Jean Valjean, who shows him charity.  This interaction is key in Jean Valjean’s life and who he ultimately becomes.  

In the movie it is a quick interaction.  In the book the buildup of the Bishop takes over 4 hours of listening time.  You come to know, deeply, who the Bishop is and what he is about. So, when he finally meets Jean Valjean and interacts with him, it’s no surprise how he acts.  

It’s been many years since I read the book, but I’ve opened it again just recently.  I listened again to the description of this Bishop. Once again I was incredibly moved by who this Bishop is and how he looks at his calling.  

I understand that a Catholic Bishop is different than a Bishop in the LDS church, but the charity this man shows is an example to us all.  I highly recommend anyone serving in a leadership role read the first part of this book. If you’re in the Stake Presidency, High Council, Bishopric, Relief Society Presidency, High Priest Group Leadership, Elders Quorum Presidency – you should read the first part of Les Miserables.  

This Bishop and his example is one we all should be following.  If I have the opportunity to serve in leadership again, I will strive to have those around me be familiar with this book.  

Follow the handbook: 

You need to know the handbook.  You’ll need to refer to it again and again as a Bishop.  There are many items you’ll have questions about. So, start with the basics.  Your responsibilities: 

1. You are the Presiding High Priest
2. You are the President of the Aaronic Priesthood
3. You are a common judge
4. You oversee all welfare matters (‘oversee’ is the key word here)
5. You oversee records, finances, and the building. (again, ‘oversee’)

A good friend of mine asked his Executive Secretary to basically memorize the handbook.  Know its ins and outs. He wanted him to be able to answer any question about it. So, when a question came up in Bishopric or Ward Council, they were able to turn to him for clarification.  

The handbook changes.  In 2010 they came out with a whole new handbook.  That year they also started using the Ward Councils MUCH more than they had in the past.  So, things change. Thank heaven the Lord has blessed us with a Prophet to steer us in the right direction. Be prepared for change. 

The Lord called YOU: 

I know it may be hard to believe, but the Lord called you.  Yes, you. The one that listens to loud music, that loves to watch comedy specials.  The one that plays funny jokes on his friends and co-workers. The one that loves Star Trek movies and enjoys reading comics.  OK, maybe not that last one, but you get the idea.  

When I was first called to be a Bishop, I was 180 degrees different than the man I replaced.  Don’t get me wrong, the man I replaced was one of my mentors. But he was retired and had all kinds of time, while I was running my own business.  His kids were all grown, and I had a very young household. He had served in four other Bishoprics before he served as Bishop. We were very different.  I thought I’d never be able to fill his shoes, and guess what, I never was. But in reality, the Lord didn’t want me to do that, he wanted me to be me. 

It took a brick to my head for me to see that.  

I’d been Bishop for about nine months.  It had been a bit of a rocky start. I continually seemed to be letting people down.  Not only that, I was making some people very upset as well. I couldn’t believe how often I stepped on people’s toes.  I just couldn’t seem to get a grip on things. No one was happy, including me.  

It was about this time when my Executive Secretary asked to speak to me alone.  He pulled me aside and asked me what I was doing. I didn’t really understand where he was going with his question, so I asked him to clarify.  

“Is something wrong?  You don’t seem to be yourself?” he asked.  

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you seem to be walking on eggshells all the time.  What happened to the guy who was First Councilor?  He was confident, collected, and knew what he was about.  Ever since you were made Bishop that guy hasn’t shown up for work.  You aren’t confident, you’re always second guessing yourself. It’s almost painful to watch.” He said. 

Wow!  It was like he threw a brick at my head.  When he said it, I knew exactly what he was talking about.  No one knew better than I the struggle I’d been going through.  Apparently, it was visible to those close to me as well.  

I vowed to change that day.  I became me. I stopped being the Bishop the other people wanted me to be.  After that day, I threw off that mask and walked out as me. The husband, father, wealth manager, AtlasBrother, Eagle Scout, Stumpjumer rider, wakeboarder, wakesurfer, loud music listener, Apple addict, and audiobook listener.  He’s the guy who the Lord called, and he’s the one that stepped out of the office after that meeting. Thank you Sean for pushing me that day.  

I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  I was free to be me.  

Don’t let the weight of another Bishops example, or someone else’s expectations weigh you down.  The Lord called you. Granted, he wants you to be your best, but he called you.  Remember that when questions creep into your mind as to whether you should really be sitting in the chair or not. 

Let your family know you love them: 

Shortly after I was called as a councilor in a Bishopric, a friend of ours shared something with us.  She said that her father had a special way to communicate with his children, from the stand.  When he was called as a Bishop, he wanted his young children to know he was thinking about them while he was on the stand.  So, he came up with a sign for each child: 

A scratch of the nose for one, rubbing his chin for another, pulling his ear for another, etc.  While looking at a specific child, and giving the sign, he would be telling them that he loved them.  The child would return the sign – thus telling each other that they loved each other. Much like a catcher talking to a pitcher, all through signs.  

My kids were ages 1 – 9, when I was called into the Bishopric.  These were something we shared for the ten years I sat on the stand.  Looking back now, I think this was something that kept a bond between my children and I.  We would make sure that we were connecting, personally, while I was on the stand. I let them know, even though I was on the stand conducting business, I wasn’t too busy to think of them.  I tried to never miss an opportunity to have this exchange with them.

Show respect for the previous leader:

My wife was recently released as the Young Women’s President in our ward (Feb. 2015). A week or two after she was released the new Young Women’s President asked her to come back into their group meeting. At the beginning of their meeting she handed her this framed picture in front of all the young women and leaders:

I thought this was a great way to show respect and thanks for the leader you are replacing. And what a classy way to do it. This will be something that my wife keeps for many years. She will look at it with fond memories – and she’ll know it was the leader that replaced her who made it possible.

Establish Best Practices: 

Picking your team: 

Concept: How to choose your team 

The Lord will guide you here.  You will need men that you can delegate to.  If you have a young family, I highly recommend choosing men with experience, preferably more experience than you.  You’ll need their counsel. Men you can count on and delegate to. Since your Ward Clerk and Executive Secretary will typically stay, you just need to choose your councilors.  

• Go through the ward list.  
• Pray.  
• Narrow down who you think are the top contenders.  
• Pray about those men.  
• Narrow down the list.  
• Get to the temple.  
• Pick who you think are the final two.  
• Pray again, and again, and again.
• Get to the temple again if you can.  

First order of business.  Who’s responsible for what?  

Concept: What is the first thing you do with your new councilors? 

When my Bishopric was first set apart the first thing we did was go through the division of responsibilities.  Who would do what, and be responsible for what? You need to know who to delegate to.  

Here is a link to how we broke down the responsibilities of the Bishopric – Bishopric Duties

Whenever new councilors were called, the first item of business was to discuss this again with everyone in the Bishopric, set clear boundaries and let them run with it.  I tried to never micromanage. As a good friend of mine said, ‘Your councilors are entitled to receive revelation for their callings, just as much as you are as Bishop.’  Circle back often, reign them in as necessary.  

Always have these lines specifically drawn.  Then get out of the way.

When nothing else matters.

There are times when nothing else matters, when it’s you and the people who need you.  Your family, your job, a scheduled meeting – nothing else matters except the emergency in front of you.  This typically shows up in the form of someone being rushed to the hospital, someone dying, or some other real emergency (I’m not talking about something a member thinks is an emergency, I’m talking about the real thing).  When one of these happens, it’s time to step up. Don’t shrink away. Don’t call and ask someone else to take your place.  Go to where you are needed and be the minister you were called to be.  

My story: 

There was an elderly gentleman in the ward that was slowly passing away.  His wife didn’t want to talk about what was happening. She was afraid. There was a very strong woman in the ward that was her friend, and she forced all of us to get together and talk about what was coming – he was dying and they needed to prepare.  Fortunately we had time to prepare for the funeral service and think about her financials.  

When the day finally came I was caught off guard.  It was a Sunday afternoon, at the start of our third hour, that strong woman in the ward came to me and said the man had been sent to the hospital, they didn’t think he would make it.  She said she was headed to the hospital and gave me a look like I needed to head there as well.  

Sadly in my mind I thought, ‘We’ve been planning this for some time.  I’ve met with the spouse many times, talked with her, planned with her, now it was finally happening.  I’m glad Sister strong woman was going, she would do a good job.’ I began to walk down the hallway. As I walked down the hallway I ran into one of my mentors.  He asked me if I’d heard the news, and I said yes. He said, ‘Well, it’s time. This is it. This is what you were called to do. Don’t worry about the ward, we’ll be fine.  Go help that woman and be the minister you were called to be.’ The light went off and I rushed to the hospital. I’m so glad I did. I was able to help that lonely sister through that incredibly trying time.  There was no other place more important for me to be than with her as she went through that incredibly difficult experience.  

From that point on I made sure every auxiliary leader knew, if someone was in the hospital, I wanted to know.  I didn’t care what they were there for, I wanted to know. If someone was sick, please tell me. If someone was in need, I better be in the loop.  

We were called to be ministers, not administrators.  Think about it, where would the Savior have us be when people are in need?  That’s where you should be.  

Now, there are plenty of times when a member thinks there’s an emergency, like when their water gets turned off or something like that.  But in reality, most things CAN be delegated to the responsible leader over that member. But when there’s a true emergency like someone being admitted to the hospital, or a member learning of a death in their family, or a member gets a call from the Stake President that their son or daughter is coming home early from a mission (you will know the true emergencies), then you need to be there.  Don’t hesitate and don’t delegate. Step up. You won’t regret it.

Office Hours – Like a professor at a university.

Concept: How to give your life (calendar) structure.  

I realized early on, that I wanted ‘office hours.’  This helped me on many levels. I chose to have all my ‘scheduled’ meetings on Wednesday nights, or on Sundays.  My family always knew I had church at those times, and I could be called away at any time on Wednesday nights or all day Sundays.  My Executive Secretary was told to only schedule me during those times. My work secretary knew I was busy on Wednesday nights. Eventually my congregation knew those were the times I was available.  

Obviously emergencies came up, there were many other items on the calendar – regular Thursday night meetings, and many Saturdays.  When it came to scheduling an interview though, it happened on Wednesday night or on Sunday if at all possible. 

Have ‘office hours,’ it’ll bring you peace. 

Use Technology to Your Advantage: 

Use Google Calendar.

Concept: Use a calendaring tool that will allow you to coordinate with your wife, your Executive Secretary, and your work secretary – from any device connected to the internet. 

I have Administrator access, meaning I can add/delete anything on the calendar.  

My wife has Administrator access. 

My Executive Secretary has Administrator access.

My secretary at work has Administrator access.  

We can all SEE and EDIT the calendar from any device that’s connected to the internet.  

Phone, Work, Home, Anywhere.  

Here’s what a typical week looked like: 

• Blue = family
• Green = Bishop’s calendar
• Red = Work

Without a tool like this I wouldn’t have been as organized, I would have missed my teenager’s games, I would have had to communicate much more with my Executive Secretary.  It all just worked.

To protect my wife from having to know who I was interviewing at church, I’d have my Executive Secretary simply title the calendar item as ‘Interview.’  If I clicked on it, I could see who it was with and where we were meeting. My wife, not wanting to be burdened with that information, wouldn’t click on the calendar items marked ‘Interview.’ 

Use Google Drive – or a third party cloud provider: 

Concept: Sharing documents in the cloud allows anyone you choose to be able to View and/or Edit – Agendas, Calendars, To do lists, Sacrament Programs, etc. 

Aren’t familiar with Google Drive / Docs?  Watch this YouTube video. 

I ‘shared’ many docs with the other members in my Bishopric and Ward Council. We had a lot of them. Agendas, Youth Calendars, Notes, etc.  We were able to share all these and collaborate on them together. This allowed us to collaborate while at home.  

We were able to have less meetings and also have greater efficiency.

Sunday – Get to church early. 

Concept: I found the best time to ponder over my calling was just before my Sunday meetings. Find that weekly time for yourself, then work it into your schedule. 

I used Sunday morning as my time to prepare for the day and week.  I would get to the building 30 minutes prior to the rest of my Bishopric.  This allowed me time to ponder, and think of what I needed to do to prepare for the day.  I found this to be a key time, time to allow the Spirit to speak to me.  

This wasn’t always easy.  We had three units that rotated time slots (9am / 12:30pm) in our building.  Two wards and a branch. The Spanish branch would overlap with one of the wards.  

My Bishopric typically agreed to have a 1.5 hour Bishopric meeting prior to Ward Council and our meeting block.  This allowed us to work through the issues prior to meeting with the members. Because we had a long meeting, it usually kept us from having an additional meeting during the week.  We only had to meet during the week if we weren’t able to complete all our items on Sunday – which happened, but was rare.  

I’d have to get there pretty early to get in a half hour of quiet time before a 1.5 hour Bishopric meeting, and a 1 hour Ward Council – all before our 9am Sacrament start time.  I preferred early morning church though. Get all your work done early, if that happened there was at least a chance of going home and relaxing for a bit.

Take Good Notes: 

Concept: I learned the hard way, without good notes you can’t be an effective leader.  

If you are anything like me, there is no way you can remember all the details.  So, the only way to remember everything is to take good notes.  

Two examples: 

Someone came to me and had some morality issues.  We spoke about their past, what happened and where their mind was at the moment.  We spoke about what actions would most likely happen going forward. Because they were fairly serious mistakes, I let the person know I would need to speak to the Stake President and ask his counsel.  

I called the Stake President and filled him in.  He started asking me detailed questions that I didn’t know the answers to.  I simply hadn’t asked deep enough questions. There were also things he asked me about that I couldn’t remember.  I know I’d spoken to the person about it, but couldn’t quite recall the answers. 

At that point I knew I needed to start taking good notes.  Often, since then, I’ve had to go back to my notes time and again to remind myself of our previous discussions, goals we agreed on, action items going forward, and specific time frames we’d discussed.  

Another example was a young couple that came to me with financial issues.  The economy was grim and they were having problems making ends meet. I spoke to them about their current financial situation, and went through their budget.  We whittled out a number of items they could do without, and family members they needed to ask for financial help. In the end I helped them cover a bill or two, on the basis that they would take those actions.  

About three months later they came back, with similar issues, just not being able to make ends meet.  I knew we’d met before, I knew we had a frank discussion about money, I even remembered much of the discussion – but not all of it, not the details.  I couldn’t recall all my recommendations, or the to do items I’d given them.  

Frustrated, I realized I needed to keep good records not only of morality issues, but of financial issues as well.  

Both of these caused me to do two things: 

1. Whenever I helped someone with a moral issue that I needed to keep track of, I created a folder with their name on it.  I kept this folder in my locked filing cabinet in my office.  I only kept this folder, and any notes, as long as necessary.  The people I was working with knew I’d been taking notes, they watched me do it.  They also watched me read from them as they first came in and we caught up on issues.  It was common, once their issues were resolved, for me to walk to the shredder and shred the file right in front of them.  ‘Neither the Lord nor I remember it any longer.’  
2. I would use one sheet of paper for each visit.  I’d date the top. I’d write out my specific notes from the meeting.  I’d write out specifically what tasks I’d given them. I’d write out what they were to accomplish before our next meeting.  I’d write out what tasks I’d need to accomplish before our next meeting. I would then make sure the person I was speaking to was clear on what was required of them.  If there was ‘homework’, they would write down what it was. We both would be clear on what was to happen at our next meeting.

Before the person would come into my office for our next meeting, I’d pull their file and review my notes.  I’d make sure I knew all the important details prior to our discussion.  

This was incredibly helpful.  

From a good friend who served as a Bishop: 

“I used 3×5 cards and kept a locked card file for this exact information. I color coded the cards for different types of information (only I knew this) such as welfare, morality, marriage, etc. Notes made me so much more connected. 

I had a good friend tell me once that he spilled his soul to the bishop about morality issues he was having. It was incredibly painful and difficult for him to do. When he returned for a follow up visit with the bishop, he was crushed when the bishop couldn’t recall why he was there and asked him to go through his transgressions again. It was devastating for him and he never returned.”

Sacrament Meeting Best Practices: 

Concept: Our model for having a great Sacrament meeting.  Goal: To get people to feel the spirit and to want to come back again and again. 

Here’s the agenda we used to keep us on track (1 page pdf) – Sacrament Meeting Planner Form

Here’s my thoughts on how to have the best Sacrament meeting (2 page pdf) – Sacrament Meeting Best Practices

From a friend who served as Bishop:  

I always encouraged our speakers to prepare their talk as though a non-member friend they invited was going to be there (I would ask them to invite that friend). This would ensure that we would stay away from more edgy topics and stay strictly on the gospel centered topics. It also helped the missionaries when they did bring someone that the talks would be specifically centered on them. 

I also set up a sacrament committee. I called two older members of our congregation to the committee. I chaired it and along with the chorister and music chairman we met once a month. I leaned on this committee for topics and they were awesome in coaching our youth on their talks. They also took turns writing thank you notes to speakers highlighting areas of the talk they liked. This had a huge impact on our sacrament meetings spirituality.

Blessing the Sacrament and how we did it: 

I taught our Priests that they needed to back each other up when they were blessing the Sacrament.  When Chair #1 (the Priest blessing the bread) was down on his knees reading the card for the Sacrament, the Priest in Chair #2 (the Priest blessing the water) would be reading over his shoulder to make sure he didn’t miss anything.  IF he did miss something, the Priest looking over his shoulder would quickly point to the line where a mistake was made and then the Priest saying the prayer would know he’d need to repeat that specific line.  

They would rotate their roles as the Priest in Chair #2 said the prayer over the water.  This way, they watched out for each other. 

When a mistake was made and I had to correct them, we would talk about it later in Priest Quorum.  I would talk about the importance of watching out for each other. We would talk about the importance of being a team.  We had a fairly large Priest Quorum (10 active youth at one point) so we rarely had the same two Priests up there. They really learned to watch out for each other, without having favorites.  It worked well. 

I also taught them that after they said the Sacrament prayer they were to look at me, or whoever was presiding.  ONLY if they saw me shaking my head ‘no’ would they have to do it over. If everything was right, I wouldn’t recognize them at all.  I would simply be looking forward – just like normal. ONLY if they needed to be corrected would I be looking at them, asking them to do it again.  This worked well. 

Welfare:  

Concept: You don’t have to carry the full weight of welfare.  In fact, the Handbooks say you should delegate it.

My experience is that Bishops tend to take on welfare items themselves, they don’t delegate any of the responsibilities.  I also know that as a Bishop it was one of the biggest challenges I faced, and biggest time draw.  

Delegating welfare needs to your Elders Quorum President, High Priest Group Leader and Relief Society President isn’t just a good idea, the Handbooks say you should.  Elder Robert N. Packer of Northern California, our Area Seventy, spoke to a gathering of tri-stake Bishop’s and Stake Presidencies about the best use of our time.  He stressed the importance of delegating.  

As I mentioned before, I served during the Great Recession.  Financial times were tough. There were many people in our ward that needed consistent help.  Seeing these people over and over again became a struggle on me spiritually and mentally. Dealing with the financial stuff, on top of all the other moral issues and youth issues I was dealing with, really started to weigh me down.  This was about the time when Elder Robert Packer spoke to us. I decide to move on his advice, really study the Handbook and start utilizing ‘all my strength.’  

Let me help you re-read the Handbook so you can see what I’m talking about: 

Handbook 2, 6.2.1

“The bishop directs welfare work in the ward. He has a divine mandate to seek out and care for the poor (see D&C 84:112). His goal is to help members help themselves and become self-reliant.

The bishop’s counselors, the Relief Society president, the high priests group leader, the elders quorum president, and other members of the ward council assist the bishop in fulfilling these responsibilities.”  – Emphasis added.  

As the Bishop, you, are to direct the work – it doesn’t say you have to ‘do all the work.’  It also spells out all of those who are assigned to help you with the work.  IT IS THEIR STEWARDSHIP. 

As mentioned in Handbook 2, 6.2.2 – keeping welfare items confidential is of the utmost importance.  I kept the personal information on a ‘need to know’ basis only, as should you.  

The key to welfare in the ward is found in Handbook 2, 6.2.4 

“Welfare is central to the work of the high priests group, the elders quorum, and the Relief Society. In meetings of the high priests group leadership, the elders quorum presidency, and the Relief Society presidency, leaders plan ways to teach principles of self-reliance and service and to address welfare needs. Under the direction of the bishop, these leaders help members become self-reliant and find solutions to short-term and long-term welfare concerns.” – Emphasis added.

And again in 6.2.4 – 

“As the bishop provides short-term assistance, he may give assignments to Melchizedek Priesthood or Relief Society leaders.”  – Emphasis added.

And again in 6.2.4 – 

“Many short-term problems are caused by long-term difficulties such as poor health, lack of skills, inadequate education or employment, lifestyle habits, and emotional challenges. Melchizedek Priesthood and Relief Society leaders have a special responsibility to help members address these concerns. Their goal is to address long-term concerns in ways that lead to lasting change.” – Emphasis added.

You can even call specific individuals to help you with welfare issues:  6.2.5

Does it need to be any clearer than that?  

You don’t have to carry all the welfare stuff yourself.  Believe me, once you share this burden, being a true minister will be much easier.